What makes 'the perfect grandmother'?

The Golden Rules stem from common sense, respect for your children as parents and a sensitivity to the feelings of others. A good tip is to remember how you felt when criticised by your mother or mother-in-law. Having said that, the rules can be so easy to break!

• Never interfere or criticise - you risk losing contact with your grandchildren. Only offer advice if asked or you're sure it will be welcome.
• Respect decisions on food i.e., don't 'treat' your grandchildren to a burger if they are being brought up as vegetarians. If you feel they are eating too much junk food don't criticise but offer them healthier options when they visit you.
• Offer to help when you visit - but don't try to take over.
• Don't take sides and don't let your grandchildren play you off against their parents.
• Don't favour one child over another nor one set of grandchildren over another.
• Apologise if you break one of the 'golden rules' - there's a good chance that you will, even if you don't mean to!
  

Keeping them safe

A recent report revealed that approximately two million children (half of these under five years old) are taken to hospital A&E departments each year - a shocking statistic made worse by the fact that, in the majority of cases, the accidents were preventable.

Roger Vincent of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA) says that the key to keeping young children safe is supervision. But even the most vigilant grandparent cannot watch a child every second, so prevention is the key to avoiding accidents.

It's easy to forget what your own children were like at a young age. Even if your grandchildren are only occasional visitors, RoSPA advises that you should get down to the child's level when checking for hazards where you're more likely see such things as a trailing electrical lead or a knife balanced on the edge of the worktop. If you are regularly looking after them consider fitting stair-gates and getting rid of the garden ponds (at the very least cover it up).

Safety checklist:

• Keep all chemicals and poisons out of reach of small children, preferably locked away.
• Keep all sharp tools out of reach and lock the garden shed - it's one of the most hazardous areas of a home.
• Keep medicines in a lockable cabinet.
• Empty buckets and other containers and check for standing water on swimming pool or pond covers. Incredible though it seems, small children have drowned in the rainwater that gathers on covers while others have drowned in a bucket. Make sure rain water butts have childproof lids.
• Never leave young children alone in a bath. Apart from the obvious danger of drowning, a child may turn on the hot tap with horrific results.
• Don't leave anything on the edge of worktops or tables and make sure that a child cannot pull down a tea tray or a tablecloth. Even tea that has been made up to 15 minutes earlier can scald a child.
• Have a child-proof fireguard in front of open fires or heating appliances.
• Keep cigarettes, pipes, lighters and matches hidden out of reach.
• Consider fitting safety covers on low-level electrical sockets.
• In the car: be aware that if you take a child younger than 12, or who is shorter than 135cm, in your car you must have a child car seat appropriate for their size.

Further information

The Grandparents' Association, Moot House, The Stow, Harlow, Essex CM20 3AG, office tel: 01279 428040, helpline: 0845 4349585 or visit www.grandparents-association.org.uk

For more information about safety in and outside the home, visit RoSPA's website www.rospa.org.uk